It’s been a busy week! Last Saturday my dad flew his C-27 for the last time and my brother flew out from Utah so all the siblings were there to watch him land and attend his retirement ceremony. There’s this weird tradition among aviators that after their last fight they all get sprayed down with a fire hose. My mom did the honors and my sister and I followed up by spraying him with cheap bottles of champagne, provided by squadron buddies. I can’t believe he’s taking my mom and sisters to Texas in a few days! As the man himself would say: DISAPPROVED. Re-submit in 30 days for further disapproval.

On Monday I tagged along for my parents’ and the twins’ last Atlantic beach trip for a while. It was one of those sweltering, crowded beach days with boardwalks and slight sunburns and magazines and greasy food, and it was kind of perfect in it’s way. I actually submerged myself in the ocean for the first time in years and came out sputtering like a baby. And you know how they say pasta water should taste like the ocean?  Turns out I’ve been under-salting pretty severely.

The cone photos were taken within 30 seconds of each other, to illustrate the severe hotness of the day. I actually sort of have a thing against jimmies, but I saw someone get their cone dipped in rainbow ones and it looked so summer and perfect and I had to have them. Then they dripped onto my hands and tasted like nothing, so I’m back to having a thing against jimmies.

In attempts to take some group shots I came to the realization that I also forgot how to smile naturally for pictures. So much so that any time I try to take a photo I’m actually in I end up mugging (see exhibit A on the right). My lovely sister Caroline (on the left) said “think about (er something childishly gross)” and it did the trick immediately, so thanks be to her. She knows me well.

Heads up, the scone recipe to end all scone recipes is in development. Gird your loins.

I don’t even want to talk about how many kinds of salsa there are or what’s authentic or whatever. There are too many kinds and too many opinions. I want to talk about the ubiquitous red condiment that, with chips, graces the tables of Mexican restaurants across America.

My version of restaurant style salsa is focused on practicality, real ingredients, and especially flavor. It doesn’t make enough to feed a freaking army (though it doubles and triples beautifully) and it doesn’t have any weird “secret” ingredients, but it’s still adaptable enough for personalization – as salsa should be.

There are three tastes that need to be balanced in any good salsa: heat, acid, and bite. Bite is the word I’m using for the kind of heat that hits your sinuses but doesn’t linger on your tongue. In this recipe, jalapeno brings heat, lime brings acid, and raw onion and raw garlic bring bite.

Pulse together a quarter of a raw onion, half of a seeded jalapeno, and one small clove of garlic until minced. If you know you like things hot, go for a whole jalapeno or leave the seeds in. If you know you like onion, or if your onion is very mild, use a third to half of it.

Once the base of onion, garlic, and jalapeno is thoroughly mulched, squeeze in about half a lime, throw in a small handful of cilantro, and a pinch or two of salt with one standard 14.5 ounce can of diced tomatoes, drained. If tomatoes are abundant, ripe, and in season (which they will be soon!), use fresh, but if they are anything but perfectly ripe, stick with canned. Canned tomatoes will taste better than grey, mealy, unripe tomatoes any day. I’m actually partial to canned tomatoes in salsa because they are more restaurant-like.

Mix everything together in the food processor and taste it.

This is the time to make adjustments. If you want more salt or lime, or cilantro, add it now. If you want more heat or bite, make sure you give your jalapeno or onion a little dice before you add them, or you’ll end up with big nasty chunks floating in a near-puree, which would be bad.

If you want to be fancy, fry some tortillas and make your own chips. If you want to hack it, warm some nice, thin store-bought chips in the oven. If you have no patience for such nonsense, by all means crack a bag and eat.

I don’t need to tell you how this was made for cold coke and hot sun.

Here’s a break-down for your convenience:

In a food processor, pulse together until minced:

1/4 – 1/2 raw onion (closer to 1/4 if it’s strong, more if it’s sweet)

1/2 jalapeno, seeded (more if you like it hot, or leave the seeds)

1 small clove of garlic

Add:

1 standard 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes, drained (I’m partial to Del Monte petite cut with Jalapeno)

1 small handful cilantro

Juice of 1/2 lime

A few pinches of salt

Adjust to your liking by adding jalapeno for more heat, lime for more acid, and onion for more bite. Don’t forget the flavors will develop as the salsa sits, so try to make it a few minutes before it’s time to eat. If you can’t though, it’s not exactly going to break it, so just eat.

Need more chips and dips? How ’bout:

The Ideal Guacamole
Asian Guacamole
Basic Crostini
Baked Ricotta with Honey and Almonds