Ahoy, thar be 2014 on the horizon.

I’m not exactly opposed to goal setting, but annual resolutions feel sort of arbitrary and can be rendered irrelevant as the year unfolds. Plus, I’m a bit of a contrarian by nature, so once I’ve decided I ought to do something, it morphs from an aspiration to an expectation hanging over my head in an extremely unattractive way. Reflecting on the previous year’s goals is a universally disappointing experience.  Has anyone ever completed all of their resolutions? So, in the spirit of cutting myself a break for 2014, I’m listing some highly-achievable, highly non-committal irresolutions. But you still can’t hold me to them.

1. I will probably not begin tending to my cuticles, but I could at least start removing my nail polish before it’s chipped halfway off on its own.

2. I don’t intend to give up any food groups for any set length of time, unless I find a really fun-looking juice cleanse or something.

3. I may quit conditioning my hair in pursuit of touseledness.

4. I likely won’t begin ironing my clothing more than semi-annually. I will probably use my travel steamer in moments of desperation.

5. I’d like to join a CSA but, you know, we’ll see.

6. I will probably eat less fast food, maybe with the exception of mighty wings and fountain diet cokes.

7. I might work on my omelet making technique, but I might prefer fried eggs anyway and give up without caring too much.

8. I won’t learn to crochet or start watching Two and a Half Men. Pretty resolute on that one.

9. I will probably eat a lot of aged gouda when I get back to the states, but I’ll try to keep it within reason. Less than my bodyweight anyway.

10. I will try to buy more handmade things, provided they are of good quality.

11. I will probably forget this list sometime around April and not think about it again.

Happy New Year!