My wildest suburban dreams have been realized. We have a Wegmans.

I know, what a bourgeois thing to get excited about – a grocery mega-mart.

You guys, it’s a dang good grocery mega-mart.

I went on a recon mission at the brand new Wegmans in my town so I could highlight some of the awesome and exotic things they carry and that I feel super spoiled to have ready access to. This took a lot of balls for a shy person like me. I had to stalk around the aisles looking like a creep taking photos of groceries. There were many witnesses to my discomfort, so let me rub it in your face for just a minute.

Ok, now tell me friends, do you have access to fermented chili paste and bonito flakes within a 10 minute drive from your house? I didn’t think so.

Shut up city snobs, we know you already have everything.

That’s the jealousy talking.

Anyway…

What about giant BAGS of red and white miso? (Miso in a bag!? Must be authentic, right?) Or a friendly fishmonger who will tell you to get the mussels instead of the clams, because they were caught today, while he blithely filets a massive swordfish?

Do they have black garlic at your grocery store? Do you even know what that is? Me either. But now I have it. (Jk, I do know, it’s fermented garlic, I just didn’t want to sound so patronizing. Did it work?)

I can also get fresh truffles whenever I want instead of schlepping to a specialty store many miles away.

I’ve never even seen this many types of mushrooms in one place. Last week they had lobster mushrooms too (which have red skin and white insides, so they look like chunks of cooked lobster meat). All the produce is amazing and the selection is extensive. Those little gnocchi-sized potatoes were so cute! And delicious.

I’m mad that I didn’t get any shots of the cheese section or the deli, but at the time whipping out my phone for a picture in the face of  the four Wegmans employees in the cheese department felt like a bridge too far. I started to get paranoid that they thought I was working for their enemy or something, trying to steal their ideas. Right now that sounds like the stupidest thing to worry about, but at the time…well…you know. To sum up, the cheese section is beautimous and I have been eating triple cream brie and buffalo milk blue cheese like it’s my job since Wegmans opened.

Wegmans doesn’t need any help marketing, they are a big business, they are doing just fine. I just want to tell my interweb friends I’m happy they’re here. Come visit me and I’ll cook you something tasty. With ingredients from Wegmans, obviously.

These sycophantic words of endorsement have been brought to you by Courtney. Not Wegmans.